Didn’t yesterday

L, Darling,

I wish I could have watched a movie yesterday. And written you. I remember there was a time when I thought about writing you a letter at least once a year, maybe on your birthday. Now I have this here and I can write everyday! Who reads letters these days anyway? Oh but there something so romantic about letters… If only I knew they would really reach you, I would write. But since it’s all the same, I’m just writing to this void out there, to this hope, to the memory of a feeling I created for and by myself… I’ll just write here.

Unfortunately, I didn’t watch one of your movies. I flew to the capital of Brazil, had a pretty busy day and by almost eleven when I got back to the hotel, I just fell asleep. Surely, thinking of you, since it was your day. Staying at hotels all by myself also always makes me think of you. 

I love to imagine how it would be to share a room with you, because in that old story of us we would be travelling all over the world for the series and at a certain point we would already be so acquainted that we could share a hotel room, staying up late talking about whatever until falling asleep. 

Well, I’m pretty sure you had a blast celebrating yet another year of life. I’m in an airplane returning to São Paulo right now, just wishing I could actually give you a hug. I’ll have to work tomorrow and then I have a few days off, maybe I’ll try a “marathon” of watching Game of Thrones through the night, maybe I’ll just try to get some rest.

But as always, I just wanted to say I love you. Despite it all (the universe, the impossibilities, everything). Above it all, through it all. And I miss you, so much, I miss this life I will never live, I miss all this that never happened, this life that have never been.

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