The intergalactic musical

Another post to our series of “ideas for movies that I will never make, but maybe someone will someday”.

So a few weeks ago I remember I’ve read somewhere that Leo was visiting a space center with his girlfriend (or something like that) and this year, at my birthday, I’ve watched Hubble 3D Imax, which was on Netflix and it is narrated by Leo (every year on my birthday I try to watch a Leo movie). Then I was also checking out again an old notebook I have that I turned into a life-long diary, at a time I was reminded of my 20s, when I wanted to do so much of my life! I wanted to develop different skills and to have different career experiences, to travel around the world and make the most wonderful, many different motion pictures…

This is all to say that one of the ideas I once had was about a space musical. I mean, we do have sci-fi and some other strange things going on space, but how about a musical? Somehow Fantasia (1940) **** comes to mind, right? Nebula, different planets and stars… And do you guys remember that beautiful scene of Wall-e (2008)**** when Eve and Wall-e are dancing on the void, with a fire extinguisher? That’s just beauty.

I’m not sure exactly of the plot (sure I could think about it if stopped for a moment and gave it some thought), it could involve different alien species or spacecrafts, or only astronauts in exploration, or some grand metaphysical (Malick kind of stuff) theme… whatever. I know that musicals seemed like great fun when well done and a delight to the eyes, so I think it would be really nice.


Am I allowed to love like that?

Am I allowed to love you?

To love you like that, love you beyond myself?

Love beyond the reality of my world and the physicality of this existence. Beyond time and space. Beyond what makes sense, beyond the human form.

For this is the love I have, and sometimes I feel guilty. Should I love you at all? Shouldn’t I be worried about a job, about getting old, about building a life with someone real, about real friends I don’t have, real dreams I have lost, real things I’d never wanted to have and never will?

I’m sorry, cause maybe I am not allowed. But this is the love I have.



Didn’t yesterday

L, Darling,

I wish I could have watched a movie yesterday. And written you. I remember there was a time when I thought about writing you a letter at least once a year, maybe on your birthday. Now I have this here and I can write everyday! Who reads letters these days anyway? Oh but there is something so romantic about letters… If only I knew they would really reach you, I would write. But since it’s all the same, I’m just writing to this void out there, to this hope, to the memory of a feeling I created for and by myself… I’ll just write here.

Unfortunately, I didn’t watch one of your movies. I flew to the capital of Brazil, had a pretty busy day and by almost eleven when I got back to the hotel, I just fell asleep. Surely, thinking of you, since it was your day. Staying at hotels all by myself also always makes me think of you.

I love to imagine how it would be to share a room with you, because in that old story of us we would be traveling all over the world for the series and at a certain point we would already be so acquainted that we could share a hotel room, staying up late talking about whatever until falling asleep.

Well, I’m pretty sure you had a blast celebrating yet another year of life. I’m in an airplane returning to São Paulo right now, just wishing I could actually give you a hug. I’ll have to work tomorrow and then I have a few days off, maybe I’ll try a “marathon” of watching Game of Thrones through the night, maybe I’ll just try to get some rest.

But as always, I just wanted to say I love you. Despite it all (the universe, the impossibilities, everything). Above it all, through it all. And I miss you, so much, I miss this life I will never live, I miss all this that never happened, this life that have never been.

Nov 8, 2016

Dear L,

I cannot believe it! I’ve missed the days when “Before the flood” was open on different channels for anyone to watch it… Here in Brazil Nov 2nd is a day for the dead, people go visit the gravesites of their dear ones and as usual I had also pretty busy days. I also only read news of you once a month on IMDB, so there you go, I’ve missed it.

Also, I can’t believe it that Tobey is separating from Jen, my Gosh… to me Tobey was always such a nice family guy, he’s Cancer, and they have these cute kids, it’s a bummer. Meyer seems such a nice person, she has her own jewelry brand and all. Now what? Relationships are hard, but I really think when two people love each other they can make it work out. In fact, I know that celebrities marriages hardly ever last, but this year specifically I’ve heard so many news of break ups… it’s just sad. And I’m not talking only about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt (deep in my heart I always thought it was a mistake him leaving Jen for this sexy lady, or whatever). But many couples, including one couple of journalists here in Brazil who used to present the most popular night news on open TV, for us they were legend, they had been together for 20 or more years, had triplets… oh well.

For some reason, I’ve always imagined that from all the members of your entourage I would be best friends with Tobey, so I guess in my imaginary world I would be talking more with Tobey than you for these past weeks even. Then went by Halloween and that crazy party by Hudson, and actually I’ve been enjoying myself in a better mood with better weather down here.

Last week there was a day off when it was really a pleasant day and I was actually imagining how it would be a regular day in “my life with LD”, by the time I would live in the pool house and would help out with the editing of that series about the environment and social initiatives around the globe. It felt nice.

The day would start with a sip of coffee and eggs with bacon, plus one orange – basically the breakfast I try to have often in my real life too. Then I would read the news online, reply to some emails. For snacks, I’d have some mixed nuts. I would do some stretching and sunbathe, swim a little and have a shower. Then I would have salad (or lots of vegetables) and fish for lunch. After, I would get some video editing done, would get some writing done (as for a new script), then I’d have some yogurt and I could go out for a walk. I could listen to music, play some ukulele. For dinner, probably I would have avocado in order to keep a good diet for my diabetes or I could even cook some pasta. I would have lemonade, watch a movie or an episode of a series.

Oh boy, that would be a perfect regular day.

Sure, everyday something new happens, from time to time a new event here and there. One has house duties, go to the supermarket, buy gifts and there are social gatherings to attend, there is also the spiritual side and all. It’s just nice to imagine if there was a “regular” day for some time, how would it be like for me.

I told my boss, by the way, that I don’t want to continue working at the temple anymore. I don’t know what will happen and I have no plans for another line of work or anything. I know I’ll never have that perfect regular day above… but aren’t we all human beings always in need to do something else, to renew ourselves, to readjust our gears and directions, reimagine possibilities?