Actually, my intention with the last post was to start posting about some small steps I’m taking thinking more about the environment, or sharing some of the initiatives I get to know somehow and I find interesting. But guess what? That’s right. Life is never how we plan it to be.
So, by June I started feeling sick all the time and I found out… I’m pregnant! Yes, I’m expecting a baby! It was kind of a surprise, but at the same time me and my husband were starting the attempts and I knew soon or later it could happen. It had been a while we didn’t use protection (no condoms, no pills) and I was just trying to control better my diabetes. Then the news came and I really had to be more serious about my diabetes and it was considered a risky pregnancy, so I basically went to the doctor every week. It was like a small revolution in my life, I had to adapt to many things, go through tests and constantly increase my insulin intake, adding to the nausea, and feeling so sleepy all the time, June and July were pretty rough. Hence, no time or energy for those posts…
Leo has been a lot on the news headlines lately, not only because his relationship with Camila Morrone seems to be getting serious (really?), but because of the promotion of “Once upon a time in Hollywood”, which I’m pretty anxious to see but I still haven’t got the chance to, and also… the Amazon forest. Yeah, I’m Brazilian and I actually get pretty upset with many things that happen in my country, politics and other issues included.
I also have once claimed (even here) that Leo sometimes seems to be only trying to get to Gisele (Bundchen) – as if we consider she must have been the love of his life and he never found someone really like her again, and he still chasing that old feeling from his young ages. And however I know that Gisele is a big defender of the environment and involved in different causes, I must admit that I still believe Leo’s love for nature is genuine and comes truly from his heart. I mean this Amazon thing is not only “I’ll show Gisele”, but he speaks from his utmost self. And I do thank him for pointing out to the world, I guess I never have seen before such a commotion around this issue as we are seeing on the media now.
I’m only a simple citizen and I understand there are certain matters that we are really powerless about, we can only hope that the people with powers to be get some awareness and conscious actions, and try to do our part, what we can. So I know that Leo, as a public person, is doing what he can which is already more than many out there are doing.
Well, this post was not meant to be so serious. My birthday just went by and this year, for the second time in my life I could have watched a Leo movie on the big screen on my birthday (the other occasion was with Inception ****). However, I went on a quick trip and I was so tired, I didn’t really go yet for the 3-hour newest Tarantino. And I was checking again that notebook with a film reel on the cover, which ended up being my life diary. It’s amazing to think that the first entry ever was about Leo. It was 1997 and I wanted to have gone to the Tokyo Film Festival, for the premiere of Titanic. I didn’t knew how crazy it would be, I took notes like the same day they would have the promotion of Air Force One with Harrison Ford on the afternoon, and by the evening there was an opening ceremony and then they would show Titanic. Crazy, really. I was 15 years old and my parents would never allow me to go, we were living far, far away from Tokyo, on the northeast of Japan. And days later I would see on the news how crowded the event was, how many fans were screaming “Leo!” outside the theater… Even if I went, it would be impossible to get even a photo I guess.
Yep. This 2019 it has been 25 years I know Leo – more than the age of most girls he dates. I’m getting so old, and that was also one of the reasons I started thinking about having a baby. Soon, I thought, it would become so difficult and maybe too late for that. And I know that my husband really wanted a kid. I was never really this type, to me I used to think, “there are 7 billion people on this planet, we don’t need anymore” or things of the like, education nowadays seems so hard and this is a very crazy world really. But this is life. We must have some hope and give joy. Live.
I don’t really think my husband is my true soul mate (if such a thing really do exist). But I respect him, he is a really nice guy and he takes care of me. Since we are married I thought I could at least provide him this joy, of being a father. For sure, this was totally not in the plans when I was young and dreamt about Leo and I getting together. But it’s been 25 years and I have read many times how Leo was partying with his boys, parties full of models, and all that. I have seen him hanging out with many different Victoria Secret’s angels and tops, almost all blonde, tall, skinny. Even if I met Leo in real life, I wouldn’t stand a chance. Let’s just face it.
And for the first time I thought to myself that maybe it’s better for me really to have found a guy like my husband, that he is really the guy for me. He’s calm and collected, we can do things together, travel and enjoy some good food, watch a movie and walk side by side on the spiritual path. I was never the kind of girl that parties all night, who drinks a lot, wears high heels and enjoy the fashion scene, the spotlight. And this seems to be Leo type (yet).
So life is never really how we plan it to be. Perhaps we should be thankful for that, for what we have and all the possibilities.
L-What if I told you that this is just a role? It’s just protection?
T-Imagine if he is open to any girl, to any type of girls. Every woman in the world would think that she’s got a chance.
D-But how will you know? When the right girl comes up?
T-I guess we just believe it. We just believe we will know.
D-How? If you are guarded, surrounded by all this, if you are not letting a gap, an opening?
T-We just believe it. We believe in magic.